Dec
29
How can I get my fiance to discuss finances and investing before we get married?
Filed Under investing
Snarf asked:
I have always been responsible with money. I have a good amt of emergency savings, an excellent credit score, and started investing for retirement and long-term goals like a home. My fiance on the other hand does not. He does not make very much money and has quite a bit of debt, he claims he cannot open a retirement account yet since he does not make enough and he is 6 years older than I am. He pays high interest on his debt and has no money for investing in our future. I am concerned that we might someday have problems with money, even though we are okay now. However I know once kids enter the picture things may change. When I try to talk to him about it things can get heated because he says he is doing everything he can and feels put down when I lecture him about money. I don’t have a problem being the main supporter of the family, I just don’t want him or us to be in a bad situation down the road. Are there any suggestions to get him to begin investing or any books on this subject?
Gladys
I have always been responsible with money. I have a good amt of emergency savings, an excellent credit score, and started investing for retirement and long-term goals like a home. My fiance on the other hand does not. He does not make very much money and has quite a bit of debt, he claims he cannot open a retirement account yet since he does not make enough and he is 6 years older than I am. He pays high interest on his debt and has no money for investing in our future. I am concerned that we might someday have problems with money, even though we are okay now. However I know once kids enter the picture things may change. When I try to talk to him about it things can get heated because he says he is doing everything he can and feels put down when I lecture him about money. I don’t have a problem being the main supporter of the family, I just don’t want him or us to be in a bad situation down the road. Are there any suggestions to get him to begin investing or any books on this subject?
Gladys
Comments
4 Responses to “How can I get my fiance to discuss finances and investing before we get married?”
For bad situation if hes not talking now hell likely only get more.
You both need to sign a pre-nup. Then: Take a night and put it all on the table-> earning power, savings, investments. If it looks dim, dump him.
The babies well you stay home for the marriage it absolutely will not change but you can force horse to be responsible before your marriage and when you already are on shaky grounds and when you.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that things will change when kids come into the picture. If anything they will likely become worse. If you marry this man, you must do so based on what he is. Not based upon what he may or may not become. And certainly not with the thought that you can prod him into becoming what you would like him to be. And be aware that the majority of marriages that break up do so over money matters. NOW is the time to think about how you wish to spend the rest of your life. And perhaps to think about where your own priorities lie. If its love/companionship/family, that’s fine. If its financial security/stability, that’s fine, too. But know that it may be very difficult to have both with this man. I’m not saying to not marry him, only that you must proceed with your eyes wide open and being realistic about your expectations of him. Sorry. I do wish you luck.